


I love you too much

by ThirdEyeOpening



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Depression, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I just like torturing my favourite people, Multi, Self-Harm, gavin is a sad muffin, i dont know why i wrote this, the author is evil, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-08
Updated: 2014-11-08
Packaged: 2018-02-24 14:03:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2584010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThirdEyeOpening/pseuds/ThirdEyeOpening
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin has been seriously feeling down lately, and with all the shit he's been getting it's no wonder he's depressed. Only, he's found a release in the form of a blade and Michael's not too happy about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I love you too much

"GOD FUCKING DAMN IT GAVIN"

The brit cringed slightly and flinched at the scream emitting from his friend as he watch the bear-like character fall to its death. It had been a mistake, he wasn't paying complete attention and simply started swinging at random when a rogue arrow shot past his eyes on screen. Regardless of the knowledge that it was an accident on his part it didn't stop that swelling ache inside his heart from growing slightly larger as he forced a grin onto his face. 

"I was just joking around Micoo~" he coos sweetly. The angry jersey man drags one flaming eye to his right to stare at his best friend as an animalistic growl built up in his throat. 

"Im fucking sick of your 'joking around' how many times have I told you today to cut the shit! God you're so fucking useless, how do we put up with you?!" 

Gavin knew his boi was simply playing it up for the recording but for the past few weeks in general it was as if everyone one he talked to was short tempered with him. Just that morning, when he stepped out of his studio house behind the Ramsey residence and hopped into the blessedly warm vehicle of the Geoffrey Ramsey did he realize that today was going to be the worst of them all. Geoff had grumbled about the time and the british man unintentionally allowed that crawling guilt to slip in and burrow into his heart. 

Lately, he would fuck up and get a scolding look from Ryan or if his mistakes ended with the result as a lack of recording or audio, the thugs would simply give him a sigh and head shake, only to walk away and leave him to his horrid thoughts. 

The worst was Michael. His best mate would yell and hiss at everything he did, regardless of whether or not it was even worth a second thought. He would always receive a vicious glare and possibly the worst twinge of pain he's felt since his teenage years. But those were the times when he always had Dan to back him up. His B would step unconsciously closer to him and the quiet gesture was all Gavin needed when that cloudy look would stray across his face after a particularly harsh comment from a classmate or failure on his part.

But Dan wasn't here right now, he hasn't been since the lad had moved to America. Though, Gavin's anxiety was actually quickly forced down when he settled in so comfortably with the Ramsey's. The couple resembling an almost adoptive family to the man when in all honestly, he was afraid. He was leaving behind so much of his original life and living in a whole new country, regardless of the amount of work that it took for his bosses to get him there. He was still afraid. 

That comfort and loving warmth lasted a couple of years. He met the four other men involved in what Geoff had lovingly named "Achievement Hunter," and most of all, he had met Michael. 

The first day that Michael worked in the office Gavin was vibrating with curiosity. Having spent half the night watching the mans "rage quits" and personal videos on youtube. Don't get Gavin wrong, it wasn't love at first sight, he met the jersey man things went smoothly. Gavin would squeak and squawk at Michael and the red haired man would in turn scream and stomp, both laughing furiously at each other and grinning madly. Michael was his boy, his little micoo. Over the months those thoughts of friendship morphed into something else. Elongated stares into the air with a sigh caught in his throat after the older man would run his hand oh-so casually across Gavin's back. Or when their eyes would meet just long enough for him to notice how deep Michaels eyes really were. 

But that was months ago now. Now all he had was disapproving stares and harmful words and christ he couldn't take it anymore. 

He began to drift into his own mind. Not speaking outside of recordings, and even then, he didn't dare meddle with his fellow players or come up with a ridiculous "Wot if?" for Ryan or Geoff to scoff at. He came to work, did what he could with the time he had and held that painful false smile on his face the whole while. 

That night, after scampering from the warmth of Geoffs car to his secluded home out back, he slid down the closed door and did something he hadn't done since before he moved to Austin.

He cried.

He shoved a pillow in his face and attempted to smother the wracking sobs thats tore from his raw throat. Never before had he been this grateful to be far from his adopted families sight. If only Geoff could see him now, slumped in a corner, a pillow clutched to his chest in a vice grip, as if it was the only this that cared for him. Wouldn't his pseudo father be proud. His watery eyes made the suns rays that snuck through his blinds seem harsh and sharp, so he pathetically lurched forward and hid in his bathroom. The tiny room held no windows and darkness briskly swallowed him as the wooden door was slammed shut. Curling into himself was a subconscious action as he brought his thin legs up to his chest and wrapped tan arms around them, shoving his head into them as well. 

He stayed like this for a while, until the tears dried up and the sniffling stopped disrupting his breath every three seconds. When he unraveled his stiff body and stood, he found upon opening his bathroom door, that night had settled in and hours had passed by, no one had come to check on him. He really shouldn't have been shocked at this point, he wouldn't have checked either if he were them. 

He was about to retreat once more into himself, only this time it would be his bed, when he saw a faint glint in the mirror. A flick of the light switch revealed the glimmer to be a stray razor blade sitting on his sink. He remembered how he had spilt the package that morning in a rush to appease Geoff and the older mans need to be early. Curiously, he let his fingers pluck the tiny object from the porcelain and admired it in the light. It was small, but large enough that it caught the florescent light beautifully as his shifted it slowly. 

He had many friends while growing up that would view this outwardly harmless object as something of a completely different meaning. So many lives slowly destroyed by such a tiny thing. If he were to be completely honest with himself, he never understood the desire to slice into ones own skin. Until now of course, now he was eyeing the blade as if it could solve his aching problems. Well, whats the worst that could happen…

Settling himself against the bath tubs edge, he pulled his shirt over his head and inspected his body. The most obvious place would be his forearms of course so he silently brought the blades tip to the flesh under his left arm. The blade left a small indent on his skin with the amount of pressure he was admitting. Closing his eyes and sucking in a deep breath, he quickly pulled the metal across his arm and gasped at the sharp pain. He knew it would hurt, but this pain was fast and smart, nothing like the sluggish pangs he would have growing inside of him on a daily basis. This pain was new, and god did he like it. The cut itself was small and hardly bleeding at all, but that small red mark was the start of something and the foreigner couldn't decide if it was horrible or the best decision of his life.

By the end of the night Gavin had the making of six small scars on the inside of his arm. When he pulled on his T-shirt, there wasn't any evidence of what he had done, other than the stinging pain when the fabric rubbed roughly against the fresh scratches. 

A week later the number grew to 15 and continued to rise until the insides of his arms were tender and his blade travelled to his forearms and created red stop lines closer and closer to his thin wrists. Eventually the line "I'm just cold" became redundant and others stopped asking why he wore a sweat shirt all the time. His mood would fluctuate at random from hyper highs to quiet lows only for him to return the next day happy once more, if not skittish and sensitive to touch.

Ray was actually the first to notice, his Vav having gotten quiet as the weeks dragged on, seemingly longer as the groups energy reduced to a low hum. He noticed the brits mood swings and set his mind to the task of finding out what was on his fellow lads mind.

Later that day, the puerto rican caught Geoff as he was running back into the building to snag his memory stick before heading home, his mopey british boy sitting in the car. 

"…Geoff?" asked Ray quietly.

"Hmm? I'm in a bit of a hurry Ray, Griffons waiting for me to get home." 

"I'll be quick, I just wanted to know if you noticed anything weird with gavin lately? He's been off…" the younger looked worried and this grabbed the father of the groups attention. Walking up to Ray the older man thought about this and added in his own suspicion of his pseudo sons behaviour. 

"He's acting a lot like he did when he first got to america now that I think about it, that nervous skitter to his behaviour. He's been stressed lately, I know that. Its fine Ray, he'll feel better once this all blows over, but I really do need to go…" 

"Of course! I just had to ask, I worry about him ya'know?" 

"'Course buddy" Geoff smiled at the younger and pats him affectionately on the shoulder before saluting comically and running outside to his car. 

o0o 

Geoff came bustling into the house to the smiling face of his wife. 

"Hey Griff" He says smoothly, sliding a cool hand behind her back and kiss her on the jaw, only for her to smirk and bat him away. 

"That doesn't make up for being late you dick" the blonde woman states, pulling her arms into her jacket. 

"I know but I got caught up speaking with Ray after work, how could I miss our date night?" He purrs once more, sliding against her to nuzzle her neck affectionately, grinning as she chuckled softly and smiles at him. 

"Fine, but get that ass out the door, or we really will be late."

He grabs her by the hand and walks her to the car, though, when he gets to the car, he notices for the first time that Gav didn't follow them into the house. A frown infected his features as he thought about the conversation he had with his youngest employee. The tattooed man automatically pulls out his phone and texts a certain rage quitter. 

To: Mike from Jersey  
Gavin's acting strange tonight  
and Griff and I are heading out,  
you mind checking on the idiot tonight?

From: Mike from Jersey  
Yeah man, he's been weird lately, i'll  
head over now if you're leaving 

To: Mike from Jersey  
Leaving now, just make sure he's not  
choking or something. I think he's  
got lego in there and we're not suppose  
to leave him unattended with small objects.

Satisfied with the response the lead gent started the car and backed out of the drive.

o0o

A certain Michael Jones was also getting into a car, only a much more worried look was held on his face. His boi had been acting off for almost a month now, and it didn't help that michael had, well, I guess feelings is an accurate term. Fuck that, he loves the british twink and watching him sink into the mood he was in was killing the ginger because he was too much of a coward to ask the man about his fucking feelings. 

Now he couldn't take it, if Geoff was texting him it must mean that something was wrong, so here he was driving slightly over the speed limit to get to that small blue shack behind the Ramsey house. Its not even like anything was truly wrong, he would simply show up, knock on Gav's door and find a sleepy looking british idiot with an adorably cute nose and fluffy messy hair and- enough! Focus on driving… 

o0o 

Truth be told, Gavin really was almost asleep, regardless of the time being half past seven at night. Once he had kicked his shoes off and dragged himself into his small home, he felt unbelievably tired and soon found his face once again acquainted with his pillows. Groaning in annoyance the lad shrugged put of his sweat shirt and smoothed out the wrinkled in his plain white t-shirt reviling in the sting as he yanked his jeans off as well. 

His head was only just back to his pillow when what felt like a second later, there was a knock at this door. Assuming the unwanted guest was Geoff he called out a lethargic "Whaaat…" 

"Gav…?" was the tentative response, as his door slowly creaked open. 

Shooting up in bed he realized he was only wearing a loose shirt and pulled the blankets around his shoulders and curled up in bed, seemingly hiding from his fiery he haired friend. Who in turn was now closing the door and frowning slightly at the mass on the bed, a soft smile settled on his sleepy friend.

Fuck the older man thought as he took in the sight before him, the brits hair was standing up at all angles, it was almost too adorable to bare and he had a flushed colour running across his features as if he was cozy warm, or… embarrassed? The latter seeming more factual as he took in the stiff posture to the figure in the bed. 

Approaching the bed, he sat down quietly, the grin now wiped completely from his face as he reached a hand to the tense man. As his hand layer gently on the light brown haired lads arm, he could feel the body under the covers tense almost, then relax into the touch. 

"What's wrong Gav? This has been going on too long, you need to tell me what wrong" he said in a tone much softer than Gavin expected. What could he say? Earlier that day he was positive michael hated him! And now here he was with that soft expression on his face, his sweet freckled face, it made Gavin want to cry right there at how much he wanted to throw himself into the arms of his micoo and sob until he could no longer breath. 

Only now, he wanted to sink into the floor because he just said all of that out loud… 

MIchael didn't waste time in looping his arms around Gav's shoulders and pulling the taller man close. He ran a soothing hand up and down the shaking back of his best friend. 

"What is it gav?" he whispered.

He felt the body in his arms pause as if to think, then it slowly pulled away until his friend was eye level with him, tears sitting heavily in his green eyes as he told michael everything, the way he's been feeling and the guilt and the horrible ache he felt every day, stopping quickly and looking away when he came to the vice he had been previously hiding.

"There's… there's one more thing to…" he started, lifting his arms out of the blankets and squeezing his eyes closed, holding himself prepared for the onslaught of rage he knew he was about to receive. 

He wasn't expecting it when he heard a soft sniffle and felt soft lips pressing against the skin of his wrists. Opening his eyes he saw a curly head leaning over his arms and softly making his way along each scar or red line. 

Baffled he lifted one hand and rested it on the back of Michaels head, this caught the mans attention and watery brown eyes met green once more as fat tears escaped Michael's eye, falling on the bed below them. 

"Gavin, oh Gav, no." he mumbled resting his forehead on the knee of a fairly startled brit. 

"You don't… You don't h-hate me?" The younger man stuttered out, thin tears dripping to add to the accumulating wet spots on his sheets.

"No Gav, god no, I… I don't hate you I…" MIchael didn't think about what happened next, he just leaned forward and pressed his lips to his best friends and pulled away quickly. 

"I…I love you, you dick" he smirked "Ive been such a fucking idiot lately, I've been so cruel and I don't know how to make that up to you" tears were still streaming down his face and the british mans soft hand came up and caught a tear with his thumb. It was all very fairy tale if you asked him, but he would deny it in public… 

"I love you to ya donut" was his response and with a soft grin he pulled michael into the bed with him and softly wrapped his arms around michael, resting his head on the tattooed mans chest. Michael in turn then slipped an arm behind his boi and sighed deeply. 

"We can get through this Gav, I promise you." He was met with a soft sniffle and he squeezed the man in his arms tightly, letting him know that no matter what, he would always be there.

**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell I like angst and fluff? Thanks for reading my lovelies <3


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